It’s not you, it’s me…

Things have been slipping in NGFMR Towers and I haven’t been posting much recently. The outcry has been similar to when Princess Diana died. One reader (yes, a whole one) left a comment a while ago advising me to get my act together. I feel the need to explain. I haven’t been on extended holiday or on a cider binge or in the throes of an emotional breakdown or caught up in a diplomatic crisis…unfortunately.

The truth is I’ve had some health issues culminating in major surgery to remove a brain tumour in late April. For once, there’s no politically incorrect punchline! I think the technical term is a ‘left-frontal awake craniotomy’. I know what you’re thinking. MY GOD, THE HSE CAN’T EVEN AFFORD ANAESTHETIC THESE DAYS!!!! Don’t panic; I was conscious for a reason. Many thanks to the team down in Cork University Hospital, who took good care of me. I’m not going to bore you with the gory details. I’m recovering one day at a time. So, excuse me. I’m a little shell-shocked at the speed with which something the size of a golf ball has hijacked my life like an ardent jihadist. Funnily enough, the effect is like crashing into a building at speed. But enough about me, how ‘bout them Yankees?? I suppose I’m saying that I’ll try harder to update the blog. Call off the letter-writing campaign and the protests.

I’m outraged at quite a few issues but, since it’s the weekend you’ll have to settle for a review of ‘Sex and the City 2’. Cue title music (and blatant Apple product placement) and Carrie typing, ‘I couldn’t help but wonder if the only reason for making a sequel is the money?’ Carrie Bradshaw might know good ‘Sex…’ but this wasn’t it. It was, oh the irony, a total anti-climax.

Okay, there were some cracking one-liners that offered a glimpse of how good the writing in the series was. Like the first film, Kim Cattrall had most of the best lines. There were some funny scenes like any with Charlotte’s Oirish nanny and Liza Minnelli performing Beyonce’s ‘Single Ladies’ at the gay wedding. Liza looked like she was brought back from the dead especially and pickled in Martini, but still… The costumes and the locations looked amazing. The soundtrack was okay. The leading ladies (and love interests) turned in solid but predictable performances.

At nearly 3 hours it was wayyyyyy too long…not the kind’ve thing any woman would normally complain about. Boom boom! (Note: Many jokes fell flat like this one). It took the same amount of time to win the battle for Middle Earth. They could’ve easily fit it into two hours or less. The plotlines were a bit laboured because the material just isn’t there. Samantha is going through the menopause; Carrie and Big are becoming ‘smug-marrieds’ and staying in too much; Miranda’s boss is an asshole and Charlotte finds child-rearing challenging. It’s not exactly re-inventing the wheel, is it? Many women have all of these problems and aren’t hitting the cocktails just yet.

And then they all go the Middle East for some reason and it descends into ‘Carry On’ style farce, with plenty of semi-offensive stereotypes (Carrie On Spending, maybe). Carrie kisses an ex, Samantha gets arrested for indecency and Charlotte/Miranda have a big chat. And an eternity or so later, they all live happily ever after.

‘Sex and the City’ was a clever book that was developed into a great tv series. It was in and of its time. It ended at just the right time and after a few years, they made a hotly anticipated, decent film version that wrapped up everything satisfactorily. This sequel is as flabby and redundant as ‘Jaws 4’…the one that’s set in an aquarium where the police chief’s son incidentally works. How does the shark even get in?? Don’t get me started…

For all the age-defying magic, the SATC girls look tired. The smiles look stretched and forced. The zeitgeist has passed. The game is up. In one episode they reference the great romantic film, ‘The Way We Were’. I think the formerly single ladies about town would want to be remembered the way they were. They say sex goes hand in hand with death; here’s hoping that the ‘Sex and the City’ franchise is set for a dignified end.

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